I open my eyes to see Karthik, standing in my doorway, geared up, nervously peaking in to see if I am in the "ready to be woken up state" or not. Big risk to take, knowing what I am capable of doing to those who attempt to prematurely jump-start my day. Annoyed, I tell him to go away, but my pathetic attempt at a sentence dissolves way too rapidly into a collection of clogged noises, resembling something between a wet series of coughs and a futile attempt to start a lawn mower after a long winter of neglect. I check the clock, 9:30 AM, holy crap. "Karthik I am going to kill you!"
Two hours, three cups of coffee, several arguments, and 21 miles later, we pull up the boulders at South Freeport. My intentions for the day were explicitly voiced, "I will come to hang out, but not to climb."
Two hours, three cups of coffee, several arguments, and 21 miles later, we pull up the boulders at South Freeport. My intentions for the day were explicitly voiced, "I will come to hang out, but not to climb."
You see, two days earlier I pulled my groin. I don’t even know how it happened (probably some stemy split move at MRG), but all activity soon became VERY difficult. Wanting to alleviate the pain, I thought I might put to use the strange Indian Tiger Balm that Karthik had left in our bathroom. The timing of this decision could not have been worse. It was Friday, early afternoon, I was sitting in a suit at my desk, when I got the ingenious idea to strip down, apply some balm on my upper, upper, upper thigh, re-dress, and return to the list of calls I had to make. Yeh, I would just loosen that groin up. I had no idea what I was getting myself into…
Seven minutes later, smack in the middle of a conversation with a large potential client, the effects of tiger balm begin to kick in. What began as pleasant excitement turned quickly into tolerance and right into fear and pain. I had, well, been a bit too liberal with the location of my application and now had a package of fiery ice; very fiery, oh so icy. It was 
like mistaking wasabi for avocado; before you know it, you find yourself entering a situation that you really really don't want to be in. I started to panic, trying to hide the incredible pain while remaining a calm Blue Reserve representative on the phone. "Of coarse madam, the BR2500 cooler is certified to purify over 1,500 gallons..."
So back at the boulders, with the intention to just watch, the day began by me telling Karthik to warm up on this V0 (really being some sandbagged, wet V4), perhaps in retaliation for such an early call to action. He fell many times and made almost no progress.
Switching gears, we decided to "take a look" at the infamous Fridge, a V7 compression route that climbs directly up a profound 60 degree prow. We had been eyeing this climb on multiple past trips, but had never built up the courage to try it. I am thinking, "boy I cant WAIT to see this," guiltily hoping for some sort of shit show from Karthik. Karthik
on the other hand tries to tell me that I will probably climb it in 7 tries, in his attempt to reach down into my competitive nature, hoping to lure me into actually climbing with him instead of observing. It works.
Before I knew it, my climbing shoes were on. What began as faithless snickering at the lack of holds, degree of overhang, and ridiculous number of compression heel hooks, quickly turned into elevated levels of excitement and adrenaline, as we began unlocking more and more moves. You start straddling the prow, hands wide on shitty crimps, feet low. First move; righty heel hook and high slap up right to a three-finger, single-pad, slopey nob. Second move; heel hook with left foot, fall lefty into a side pull on the overhang. Third move; replace right heel hook higher up, dead point slap lefty to a decent sloper. Feet cut, campus the next few moves to mantle.
like mistaking wasabi for avocado; before you know it, you find yourself entering a situation that you really really don't want to be in. I started to panic, trying to hide the incredible pain while remaining a calm Blue Reserve representative on the phone. "Of coarse madam, the BR2500 cooler is certified to purify over 1,500 gallons..."So back at the boulders, with the intention to just watch, the day began by me telling Karthik to warm up on this V0 (really being some sandbagged, wet V4), perhaps in retaliation for such an early call to action. He fell many times and made almost no progress.
Switching gears, we decided to "take a look" at the infamous Fridge, a V7 compression route that climbs directly up a profound 60 degree prow. We had been eyeing this climb on multiple past trips, but had never built up the courage to try it. I am thinking, "boy I cant WAIT to see this," guiltily hoping for some sort of shit show from Karthik. Karthik
on the other hand tries to tell me that I will probably climb it in 7 tries, in his attempt to reach down into my competitive nature, hoping to lure me into actually climbing with him instead of observing. It works.Before I knew it, my climbing shoes were on. What began as faithless snickering at the lack of holds, degree of overhang, and ridiculous number of compression heel hooks, quickly turned into elevated levels of excitement and adrenaline, as we began unlocking more and more moves. You start straddling the prow, hands wide on shitty crimps, feet low. First move; righty heel hook and high slap up right to a three-finger, single-pad, slopey nob. Second move; heel hook with left foot, fall lefty into a side pull on the overhang. Third move; replace right heel hook higher up, dead point slap lefty to a decent sloper. Feet cut, campus the next few moves to mantle.
Back in the car, headed 295-South, psyched, hands bleeding, we crank the music. Without hesitation, Fudgee starts it off:
“It’s the optical fudgy, body 100% pudgy, yet I send sevens daily so all you haters don’t judge me……
The Coffin - South Freeport, Maine from ajugofwine on Vimeo.
haha, wasabi and avocado mistake. so deadly
ReplyDelete